Ever Thought???

Hello Fellow Bloggers & Readers & Other Homo Sapiens..well maybe u martians to.. if you are up there in mars somewhere....eavesdropping.. u stalkerish bum holes...

Ok... Ever thought of telling someone how you deeply feel about them?
Remember About My Last Blog "To BE Or Not To BE" that is the question.. wether to tell her/him or not to... I've been in thinking mode for a while now.. Lemme tell you its not doing me any justice haha as I cant sleep these past few days therefore making up excuses to the reason why I'm tired.Two of my friends are going through the same stage as me at the moment. To my friends here are some questions that you asked me a few days ago which I'm gonna answer in consideration.Furthermore this is also to another friend of mine who is confused over her boy friend as she doesnt know what to do anymore..

1) What Can I Do With These Confusion??

2) BRO! I Read Your Previous Blog.. But I Dont Think I Can Overcome My Confusion.. I Dont Think She Likes Me The Way I Do....furthermore I Do Want TO Get To Know Her More.. Im Goin On A 2 Month Holiday Nxt Week?!?!? HELP!!!

3) I Dont Get Her/Him.. Does He/she Even Feel For Me Anymore??

What Can I Do With These Confusion?
The First Question Tum Tum Ta Dah! Ok... What can you do??? I cant tell you to JUST GET THE MUDAH ASSHOLE OVER IT... cuz thats not how I roll... furthermore noone can get over these confusions especialy when its about your feelings towards someone else.. if i force you to get over it, that will make me a hypocrite because I myself cannot get over this girl I like atm and I wished I could tell her how I feel but... I dont know.. maybe I'm just afraid to make the first move?? anywayz... WHAT YOU CAN DO for the time being is to distract your thoughts as the only way to get your mind off something is to occupy it.. trust me... it helped me for a few hours(better then nothing) I Dance.. so I occupy my head tryna make a routine for the crew... what you can do is think of something you like and Do it regardless if its dance,writing poetry(is good cuz u write ur thoughts 2 words),singing,watching comedy,punch the boxing bag or pillow? or even talk to you close ones about it.. for as long as your mind is occupied..you wont be reminded of the confusion.. thats what I'm doing atm.. im writing you this blog therefore occupying my head for the time being and its also easing down this pain and confusion thats placed in me.

Question 2
Well my friend... like I said give it time... you will build your bond with her sooner or later..eventhough you may be goin on a holiday soon.. let her know that
you will keep in touch with her..but what if she gets taken is why you're worrying cause you know it will bring pain to your heart for you have waited to only see whatever you worked for get washed down the drain...trust me I'm going through the same atm.. i like this girl too and I'm goin Malaysia next friday.. if she is the right one she will wait for your arrival back if she isnt the right one you know the result.. then it will be another Wedding Dress by Tae yang all over again...so what you CAN do not a must.. what you CAN do is still communicate with her.. over the net or by phone(if roaming)if you cant,a letter or a postcard perhaps ;) letting her know you still think of her so that way you might still keep her INTERESTED ? probabaly thats my point of view... or theres the TELL her and GO kinda way which is tell her how you feel before you go... so you will be able 2 give her time to think... if she DOES have a feeling for you then she will take an interest into waiting BUT this only applies if you know her for a long period of time.For you to overcome this confusion you have to MAKE A MOVE! not straight to the point but small baby steps at the time(props 2 my guru apprentice linda for this saying).

Question 3
OK! this one is a different one..this one is 2 a female friend of mine LOL if i said girlfriend people will be like what da fish sticks about it haha but this still applys to those of you who are going through the same as well.
ok... theres nothing you need to get about him..its more of understanding him.. sometimes relationships have its tolls where you suddently fall into a disfunctional 'category' but thats when you need to make it work..I'm preety sure he still feels for you but maybe theres a slight difference?? but that is when you gotta be mature and smart and not take the wrong move and be all UPTIGHT about him being different as he may think you are doubting him which will make his point of view about you change even greatly.. NEXT time if you do see a sign of him slowly changin,do not expose his change but try to fix it ..for example he doesnt talk to you as much anymore all you need to do is talk to him.. if he is tired and doesnt wanna talk dont be all paranoid that he doesnt like you,comfort him and be there just to make him know that you understand his situation and that will in the end COOL him down and make him talk to you.. I've seen it happen as i always do cause I've seen alot of shit happen in my 17 years of hell and if there is another girl involved and you may see him flirting, dont go scolding him tellin him he is an asshole and all because he may get the straight impression that you are just jealous...and as always boys hate the jealous girlfriends... because he thinks that you are thinking of him as the screw up to your relaitonship... if he flirts who cares boys do that all he time..i flirt ima fkin guy for crying out loud.. but if i have a girl.. she is still my ONE and ONLY.. so dont go round blaming him for flirting..UNLESS he starts holding her hand or kissing around or full on hugging in front of you THEN you have the rights to make a move. capiche?? cool off lay low dont be paranoid and dont be upset over small parts dat confuses your relaitonship status.

I'll End It with

Dont Be Confused And Dont Confused Your Heart.. For Confusion Only Leads To Mess Ups. For If You Ever Do Overcome Confusion You Will Gain A Step In Your Pursuit Of Happiness. To All Thanks For Reading And Be Strong No Matter What.. Even The Outcome.Peace

9th December... I Just Realised..

9th December,
Dear Blog,

I Just Realised It is the 9th of December... the day it ended... the day.. we became two..no longer one..its been years but this date will always remind me of her..cuz its my first heartbreak.. my first.. biggest pain.. if i knew about blogging in year 10.. i would've been writing since then but I was introduced to it this year by my brother MyKool Nguyen. Props.. anywayz to start

I blame my ex for making it so easy for me to end it with her ... while she leaves a big scar in my fucking heart... we were going so well in year 8 through out year 9... and before year 10 she had to go fuck it up..was it because I'm not good enough?? was it because I'm not the guy she was looking for? was it because I'm not quite the looker ?? FUCKING ANSWER ME BITCH!.. why did you have to hurt me after we gone through so much? even worst why with my close friend?? WHY?! why hurt me like this without giving me the answer.. why was the last words from your mouth was I'm Sorry? WHY?!?!?

Remember when we always stare at the moon and the stars in the night sky every night when we're together.. we would cuddle,giggle and whisper random words into each others ear while our parents or friends are asleep..why did you have to go and throw it all away without thinking who you are going to hurt? Did you remember.. Year 8 - September 14th,2005.. the day I finaly told you how i felt for you and you would smile and pinch my cheeks saying "silly boy" and then give me a lil peck around the area where u pinched? Do You?? I bet you wont even remember our one year where i bought you a $250 gold bracelet with your name and my name engraved on it which i worked 4 hard days to get and you gave me a $220 hugo wallet that I cleaned nearly every 2 weeks till you told me off for it? But sadd to say..I gave that wallet to my lil cousin when we finaly went seperate ways.. Tho I know you will never read this cause we havent spoken in years nor do I ever want to...

I hope Canada is giving you hell right now... just as a present for this date your name shall remain annonymous to the public apart from those who saw that day happen and my best friend Reilly who was there to guide me through each of my years of pain and sorrow due to your stupidity...I've said enough for now..till the next 9th of December..If you by coincidence ever find my blog..just to let you know. Thanks for the memories and thanks for this pain...thanks for the friendship we had and thanks for the relaitionship we made and moreover.. THANKS FOR SHOWING ME HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU CAN BE AT RUINING EVERY HAPPINESS I HAD THROUGHOUT MY YEARS


From,
Malcolm.

To Be Or Not To Be ?

Hey everyone Mal Mal is back again. I swear I'm turnin into a hardcore blogger hay hahaha xD . Ok today's topic is about being confused with our feelings towards someone and yes.. confused with a person ur gaining an interest in and remember what I say about confusion and our hearts?? Yeh well here goes... today i realised... I'm gainin a slight interest in someone..she is slowly capturing what happens to be a lil piece of interest in me but then again comes the confusion.. cause I do not want be hurt trying to make my mind up and furthermore I do not want to be putting my hopes up that there is something between us.. sure there is chemistry but is it friendly or more of an interest chemistry?? I've been searching for a girl.. for way to long now... 3 years since my ex... and I've finaly started searching for that 'RIGHT' girl.. is she the right one??? For those of you feeling the same way I Do.. here are some ways of dealing with this confusion.(regardless if your a boy or girl it applies to all)

- Do You Think Theres A Chance??
- What Should I Do ? I'm Confused??
- Should I Tell ?? Should I Not??

Do You Think Theres A Chance??
MAYBE... but as we all know.. DO NOT & I mean DO NOT get your HOPES up... cause like I said.. chances are it might be friendly? Furthermore it depends on how long you and this person know each other.. if its for a short amount of time,its definately friendly and if its for a long period of time it all depends on the comfortableness being around each other whether you both share alot in common or share the same feelings.. is there touching involved?? is there flirting?? Some of these MAYBE (not definate) signs that shows a sense of togetherness but we can never be too sure if you get what I mean. So if you ask me is there a chance the only answer i can give u is a MAYBE more like 50 -50 not a YES or a NO as I am not GOD and I cannot predict if you two were destined to be. What I'm here for is to give advices and give a way of overcoming.

What Should You Do Now That You Are Confused?
Theres is one thing you can do... explore deeper into this bond you have with him/her as you will never know if this feeling is legit.Sometimes it all takes time as the feeling may not be there now BUT it will be there in a few days to come..bare in mind feelings come and feelings may go and some may crash while others will still build ok? Lemme relate to this two couple I know. My friend Josh(not real name) has an interest in Ailish(not real name to lol) and he only met her recently.. tho he knows that Ailish may not like him... he still tries his very best to try to get her interest. At first he kinda rushed it which got her obviously freaked out.. so he took a smarter approach to lay off the rush and waited..not wait like full on stop talkin to them.. more like waited and be himself..by talking to her frequently,seeing her on the weekends,talkin or textin on the phone.. yeh those sort of stuff. And later in like 2 or 3 months time he finaly decided to ask her out.. he was the shy type so before he could do it Ailish asked him out hahah(funny right??) but you get where I'm coming from. Even if you are confused .. play the safe game DONT RUSH cuz I learned my lesson quite recently... take it slow get to know each other better and soon you will realise.. she/he will finaly have that feelings for you as you have for her/him and another is be PATIENT!

Should I Tell?? Or Not??

Ok... though letting someone know how you feel maybe a lil smart but you will end up
putting them on the SPOT .. which will kinda freak them out if you and her/him aren't exactly close yet(this was the mistake i made trust me dont follow that route). Like I said above give it time and when you finaly realised that your heart could no longer keep this feelings inside, you let it out.So if you met her..like 2 weeks ago dont go up to her and say I LIKE YOU or I LOVE YOU or I AM CRAZY OVER YOU GIRL!!! cause um.. well you will either get a kick in the balls,a slap to the face,pepper spray in your eyes,walked away from,lost of communications,destruction of bond between you both or maybe a lost of a friend(I've seen one happen..nasty shit yo) so.. keep those feelings to yourself for the time being untill you realized its time to let it out.. not within 2 to 3 or 4 weeks of meeting up.. understand???

So yeh.. there you have it.. dont rush and be patient.LONG TIME AGO I rushed and it didnt turn out well so thats the reason why I would like to share this blog with you all today.Now im slowly gainin an interest in this girl.. I've only started hanging out with her for a while.. hopefully there is something between us and hopefully we will understand each other more when time comes. To Be Or Not To Be? It all comes down to the decision you make.. for having someone special next to you is a help to gain another step in our pursuit of happiness. To All. GOOD LUCK

I Love You ? NOT

Ok this is not like my other blogs where i have questions in it but it does relate to a lil portion in our lives as a pursuit to happiness. What is love ?
A chemistry ? A temporary feeling ? A form of greeting ? These days the word love is overrated.. for example one person may come up to you and say i love you just for the heck of it..like its a form of saying I'm joking...tho I may be a lil hypocritical as I do that every now and then by saying ily to everyone BUT I use the word LOVE only when a particular someone means alot to me for example my best friends,my family and my girlfriend (if i ever have one LOL..yes I'm single) ...anywayz... due to the fact that everyone uses the word i love you to much kinda makes the word meaningless now... only the true ones who have experienced what real love is truly knows how to express the word itself even those who also lost love knows when to use the word as they have once experienced it.

I knew a girl who told me off for saying the word love you as she said "ONLY USE IT WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE MEANINGFUL! OR THE WORD LOVE WILL DIE" Till then I came to realise that it is true in a way because if we say the word I LOVE YOU to someone we just met, what will the word mean to those who are close to you? or even to this very special someone whom you've been cheerishing all your life?? Will they think you're just fooling around like you are with this NEW friend of yours??? Makes sense doesnt it??

Thats why these days i try to limit my usage of the word I LOVE YOU to a minimum
or within a small group whom im close with because .. I want my close ones to know that I mean it... I want them to know that I really do love them and i really wanna express my feelings for them regardless if they are my famz or close friends. Furthermore pursuing happiness in love is to make sure we UNDERSTAND what LOVE is and persuing even more happiness in love is to make sure we FEEL what LOVE really is...instead of just saying it like it doesnt mean a thing.

To Pursue Another Goal In Happiness, Is To Make Others Happy.. As The Ones You Make Happy Will Try Their Best To Let You Gain A Step In Your Pursuit Of Happiness. For They LOVE You And They Know How Much You Are Meant To Them.

I'll End It With

THE CHOICE IS YOURS WITH HOW YOU WANNA PURSUE YOUR HAPPINESS FOR UNDERSTANDING WHAT LOVE IS WILL HELP YOU GAIN A STEP IN YOUR PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

The Uninvited Guest

Ok .. I'm Back 4th Of December =]you knw how it is
alright.. heres a lil something going to a friend of mine.
The topic is about an uninvited guest coming into a relaitionship.
Ever had someone coming along into your relaitionship when you thought
evrything was going smoothly or according to plan untill you realised
this annoying human being is interupting with your happy cuddly wuddly time??
Well thats the thing many people have been through that. For example a girl
has a boyfriend... and another girl flirts with him and steals him from her which
caused them to be distant for a while? Then when they get back again
this annoying uninvited f**king guest comes back in yet again??? mind my language.
I apologies hahaha xD but same goes to guys themselves too.

Here Are Some Questions?

Why Whould He/She Do That?
What Makes Them Think They Have The Rights?
When Is The Right Time To Take Action?
What Approach Should I Take?


Ok here we go. question one =D Ta-DAH!!!! Why Would She/He Do That?
Its kinda simple these sort of people dont really care for others but themselves so they want to add whatever means alot to you into their list of making themselves happy instead of thinking of your pain. I know this feeling that you feel.. I once had a girlfriend till i realised my FORMER best friend had a thing going on with her... and this g**damn relaitionship of ours was goin for 1 and a half years.. till it got fucked up in the end cuz she and him got a lil CLOSE....like i said these people dont give a shit about what you want or what you care for all they care is whatever makes them happy and whatever fufills their goals. For these sort of people arent worth your time.. all you need to do is keep your love ones close and let them know you mean something to him/her and they mean so much to you too.

Question 2 What Makes Them Think They Have The Rights? Nothing makes them think they have the rights. They just do whatever they want plus its not like they give a damn whatever happens to us and as i said in the paragraph above they will do whatever to fufill their goals and not others.And when it comes to rights... I personaly dont think they have the rights either.. pretty much noone has the rights to take another person's possesion as it isnt theirs to even start with. People like these should learn to get their own possesion regardless if its unique or worthy of their own. Stop using other people's loved ones to add another tick to the list of who you fucked,or who u gone out with or goals in general as it hurts others in the most painfull way possible.

When Is The Right Time To Take Action ?
The right time is whenever you want it to be. Whenever you think its right to just let your saying take over.Sometimes enough is enough and as i said in the previous blog "Following Ones Heart" dont let your heart feel sad or confused or things might just end up getting worst.Trust me I've been there before and look how I end up with my ex... nothing but pain for a month.. and more. Till today these thoughts still haunt me. I would still be with her by now for if it wasnt for my asshole of a
best friend(former)...and as I said.. dont let this sort of things stretch for too long or you might lose them again and I dont mean DO IT NOW! i mean do it when the time is right and tell your love one that you mean more to him/her and yeh make the promise and bond commit together.Commitment is the key..to a healthy relaitionship and that doesnt come straight away give it time.. but react when the time is right as you are comfortable with =]


What Approach Should I Take or How Should I Do It?
Ok you want my opinion dont make it obvious that your are pointing out the subject like dont make it obvious that your hubby or bubby is being flirted with another girl/guy cause seriously they wouldnt like you knwing that you have been keeping a sharp eye on him/her invading their privacy.. sometimes people need their privacy and sometimes people need their space so dont make it obvious that you are seeing wat he/she is upto. Furthermore dont cling too much to him/her cause you will bring the weird awkward feeling back into the relaitionship that you try so hard to keep away from. And try to avoid as many arguements as possible cause if you argue it opens a gateway or advantage for that enemy of yours to strike.Use your knowledge well and control the outcome

I know your gonna say whoah man you know your stuff. Well its not to say
im smart or super duper cool or ultimately understanding. Its just that i've been through alot for my past 17 years of living and past 5 years of maturing. When you grow in a painful atmosphere and see things you shouldnt be (not ghosts retard) or experience things you shouldnt either(not sex either pervert ^^) you kinda pick it up from young age.Pain... is what makes you stronger as i said... in my 1st blog. The hard road leads us to growing up a stronger person.So I'll end this with me saying remember to think smart and react accordingly and not obviously for only you control your way to gaining a step in your pursuit of happiness. XOXO

Following One's Heart

I recently spoken to a realy cool,charismatic,sxc and smart friend of mine =]
He made me realised something about followings our hearts.
Does it ever occur to you that our heart usualy controls a particular
feeling that triggers not only our body physicaly but emotionaly as well?
hence the saying 'BROKEN HEARTED' if no well ur just a heartless bastard x]

Alright Questions.
What Does Our Heart React To?
Why Does Our Heart Do So?
When Does Our Heart React ?


What does our heart react to... im preety sure our heart reacts to anything
we find interesting regardless if its emotionaly or physical attraction.
But what triggers our heart more is the emotions. When we love someone
our heart feels the warmth and love given by the other individual,when
we see someone we like our heart sinks as it feels heavy for the person
thats got our attention hence the people saying "YOU MAKE MY HEART MELT I'M SO
CRAZY OVER YOU GIRL" (in movies corny i know =_=')or when we feel sad... our heart
just slows down its pump and it makes our body feel down and workin less.. and theres the painfull side called heart broken... when we are heart broken... it feels like our body just went into SHUT DOWN...tears fill our eyes,body feels heavy,head feels light cause our body pumps less oxygen to our brain for it to function... yes.. our heart is THE key trigger to our emotions...and as i said.. our heart REACTS to EMOTIONS... unfortunately =\

Why Does Our Heart Do So? Well its not that simple.. our heart doesnt choose 2
be upset,or happy its us as an individual that make our heart do so. If we cant make up our mind or we are confused or hurt it confuses our heart which then forces our heart 2 react on its own.. also known as REACT WITHOUT THINKING...thats why sometimes people quote "SOMETIMES(not all the time) Its Not A Good Idea To Always Follow Your Heart,Think Before Your React" but yeh...mainly its us that causes our hearts to do so. Only Solution? confidence in your decisions and mainly sticking to it. Higher confidence makes our heart tougher therefore making us react mentaly which will also
cause our heart to follow as it's pleased as its not being stuck in confusion.

When Does It React ? We wont knw...cuz Its our heart and individual one of us control its reaction accordingly to our mood. As Said In WHAT DOES OUR HEART REACT TO For example me.. I like this girl..and she is the first girl to got me trippin out of the many few I know. I was confused at the start on wether this feelings for her is legit... till my heart tells me that she MIGHT be the right one and my heart told me that I should go and confront her about it. Unfortunately she rejected me which also triggered my heart to react in a painfull manner.. as its been 5 weeks that im still trippin over her.. cause my heart knows that this pain isnt the first I've ever felt.This pain of rejection hurts..it was unexpecting..so may I add.. our heart reacts unexpectingly.... the only way to over come it.. is to let this pain overwhelm till it leaves... which will be a while so to all you who feels the same.. you are not alone.. but its this that we have to put up with so stay strong and let this feelings run past and hopefully we will be able to take away this heartache and carry on with our lives happily <3

So Remember. Our Hearts Are The Main Reason We Feel These Emotions. Our Hearts Are The Reasons We Are Who We Are. Without Our Body..Our Heart Wont Function Well And Without Our Heart Our Body Wont Function At All. Keep A Healthy Strong Heart And You Will Come To Realise That Following One's Heart Will Help Guide Us By Gaining A Step In Our Pursuit To Happiness.

Understanding Pain

Ok... lets start.

What is life? Why does it fill us with so much pain?
Who does it concern ? Which path shall we take to find full happiness?

Here's an understanding on what it is.. life is like how we say a fruit...
wait I'ma be asian. PRAWNS... we take minutes after minutes peelin the shell
to eat only something so small which will last in our gigantic mouth
for only 2 or 3 minutes unless your anorexic... then it'll take an hour or so.
But the taste of the prawns cooked in your particular flavour mmmm exquisite.
Its Like eating pizza when u have cravings.. complete and utter sattisfaction.

If you dont already get it,what im tryna say is this. We work so hard in life,
we bleed,we sweat and we cry on the way only to regain full happiness towards the end of it all.
Why does it fill us with so much pain is what a young girl asked me once... the answer is this.. life has its own way of workin out.. but majority of it is upto us
to how we live through it...shall we take the hardest path in life to have a great understanding on how life works? shall we take the most moderate path in life only to get a small understanding on how life works OR shall we take the easiest path in life only to realise we have no knowledge on how life works. PAIN is only for those who take the hardest path but in the end its result will be a satisfactory result as pain is the only key to making us stronger. As the wise man once said what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.. BUT i'll let you know.. THERE IS NO TRUE HAPPINESS IN THE REAL WORLD.. we have to pursue that happiness ( the hard path ) like i said for evrytime we fall, we bleed and evrytime we bleed we heal and for everytime we heal our body gets used to it and it becomes tougher.Same goes to our emotions...
we are in pain NOW... but in the future we will smile FOREVER.. all we gotta do is pull through and try to survive. Survive every heart ache,survive every blood shed, survive every tear drops and survive every single one of the word PAIN for only that we can find happines..

Who does it concern u ask?? Everyone as everyone has to go through the phase of hardship and pain. And everyone has to pursue and find their only gateway to their own happiness.. as different people have different intrepretation on life. I will admit.. I will not FEEL THE SAME WAY AS YOU ALL DO...there for will not say i know how you feel.. but what i will say is I understand you brothers and sisters.. i understand these feelings you have as i have felt small fragments of the meaning of PAIN...

which path u ask me?? its upto you... I have chosen the HARD path as I myself want to experience life and understand it for I wanna grow up to be a stonger person...If i grow up strong ill be ready for life's obstacles if i grow up strong i'll repel the hardship if i grow up strong i shall be able to regain small bits of my happiness as the stronger i become.. the lesser the word pain means to me. Question Is, Whats Your Choice??? What Do You Want To Do?? The Choice Is Yours.. And Lastly.. Dont Regret As Only You Control Your Path In Your Pursuit For Happiness